I've got nothing to do at home.
On a new year's eve.

roy

Labels: entry, photos

I want to buy books.
I want to read books.
I want to go out, and do things.
I want to have someone closer to have fun with.
I want to do so many things.
But i feel half broke, half filled.

roy

Labels: entry

"This four items has an industrial look to it. A silver coat that has a certain plastic quality to it. Perhaps it's wrapped up with some sort of plastic film or foil thing, or even colourless scotchtape. They have a certain shape to it, they're probably wrapped up really tightly, so compact that it's like a vaccum-contained item. Lifeless and senseless."

These, are my field pack item. In cw fashion from the top left: pack 1 - #4 uniform, pack 2 - admin and towel, pack 7 - slippers, pack 3 - toiletries. All in day's work, all for the sake of senseless fun during initiation.

Went singing with gaochong, yewei and guangliang yesterday. Met yongcai for Yes Man after that. Haha.

roy

Labels: entry, mtv, photos

roy

Labels: mtv

Christmas, back from camp, back from a hell hole. I’m not going to write down any of the painful and humiliating treatments we have to put up with because firstly, we need to be discrete, secondly, I’m lazy. Instead, I’ve them archived in a book. I can read them during my own free time in the future for some guilty pleasure what these retarded sick minds are capable of – ultimate retardedness. I’m quite bored of complaining about this unit because it makes me disgusted with myself that I’m wasting so much time thinking about it. it’s not as if I’m dreading it because I know that I only have such a superficial knowledge of it. I’m just dreading it cos of the people who are making us dreads it. Enough of the excuses that it’ll make us ‘bond’, if I bought that I won’t deserve my four distinctions.

I gotta cut down on my expenditure. I’m becoming something like a spendthrift, which is really burning my pocket. So I’ve gotten my bag and some other nice stuff, so perhaps I should cut down. I should refrain from spending twenty on meals when I can spend ten. Twenty is just wastrel-esque behavior. Boo I’m bored.

roy

Labels: entry

Those ysl, or whatever you call them. Seriously i'm going to give this much attention to them: ___. I hate everything and anything that spells stupid and unnecessary to me, and it's amazing that these people managed to tick me off even though i barely know them. Calling for an inspection? Calling for a 07:00? Calling for us to do this together? I question their intentions. I question the need for this. I question if this is for our own good, or simply for their own guilty or unguilty pleasure. My resentment for people in green has never mount up to such a destructive level. Enough of their vile hypocritical thoughts. They're fucks.

side track
invent smile. says:
i hope urs is worse
invent smile. says:
lol thn i can laugh at u
victor says:
ure an IDIOT
victor says:
did i say ure an idiot?
victor says:
URE AN IDIOT

roy

Labels: entry

隐形人/孙燕姿
小寒 词

无论你肯或不肯我都选择等
等到你结束好久探险的旅程
要是没有寂寞陪衬 没有途中的灰尘
你怎会向往家门

你越是想要诚恳其实越残忍
伪装不了你对我漠视的眼神
你不许我听信永恒不许我迷信我们
不许我奋不顾身

多想化成隐形的人 掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人 隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻

朋友都于心不忍责备我愚蠢
但他们都回避我执着的眼神
可知我对爱的虔诚 可知我迷信我们
可知我难得放任

多想化成隐形的人 掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人 隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻

多想化成隐形的人 掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人 隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻

这是我最喜爱的燕姿歌曲之一 感情里的冲突和矛盾, 牺牲与割舍都填入歌词内
我突然有种想听这首歌万遍的冲动 我觉得我在感情里的角色就像是个隐形人 总是默默的不吭声
自己的伤疤留给自己去疗养 总是不愿多说一句 似乎是这样 我好欣赏着整首歌的词曲与演唱 好可惜没主打

Honestly i was quite pissed that I had to attend my dad’s d&d. what boring shit did I land myself into! I could have spent my time doing things I like. I’m really starting to embrace the kind of rebellious liberation that plagues teens’ parents when their kids are fifteen or so. My phase came five years late. I’m really starting to embrace block leave too. I never felt so in sync with my foxtrot friends before. Last night’s meet up was great, some of my favorite people. It was so random of victor to call us out for I didn’t even know what timbre was. I even thought that this guy was playing a trick on me. what I need now are the photos from jack jack jack jack jack!

I did something today. I sorta moved one step forward towards my career planning. I’ve decided to add Chinese as one of my major options for uni. Chinese in ntu, how uncool is that, but that’s roy for you – doing the least expected. Chinese major and translation minor?

roy

Labels: entry

I’m actually quite pleased tonight cos I did something out of the ordinary. Met up with victor, zakir and jack (urgh finally!) at timbre for some drinks. I love the company :>

roy

Labels: entry

好像为这词填首曲哦
太有感觉了

在乎的人

你有没有试过
被在乎的人冷落
或是呼吸着寂寞
我有 经验很多
害怕没有他的生活
想象只剩下朦胧的轮廓
合上眼睛 拳头紧握
我的快乐都被掠夺

你是我最在乎的人
却无能与我相认
我爱你 思念汹涌延伸
终点却到了心疼

你是我最在乎的人
我最想拥抱的人
每个转弯 命运心狠
我却只能惨痛的忍

roy

Labels: 词

So tables are turned. Honestly, I hardly feel the connection with sj. It’s largely unfamiliar and always reworking itself. I really wonder if I’m cut out to stay in this service having missed out one whole calendar year of events. It was just a few days ago steph was relating to me how so many people had left from otcnov. I guess this is sorta ‘moving on’. This might just be a ‘young people’ thing. I know I’m not the sort of volunteer type cos I think that volunteering is just lame. So I can’t possibly be staying because I wanna volunteer my service. I definitely won’t stay because of people. Right now, I’m really questioning my intention of service. At that point of time, I joined otc probably out of spite, or possibly to do some right with taurus and all. Perhaps I joined otc for that specific group of people. Those people were exclusive to that specific time and space. Now that it’s over, is there a need for me to stay on? I’ll be receiving my service medal and promotion tomorrow for sj. My friends in camp tell me that there’s no need to stay in sj, after all I’m an saf officer now. but, there’s always a but. I know I cannot commit because firstly, I can’t find time and priority to commit to sj. Secondly, I’m reluctant to commit when I know I’m only going to rip so much effort at the end. I don’t want to disappoint people too. I know there are people who hold high expectations for me. I know for jianlin to even push for my promotion means he has expectations for me. I don’t want to feel guilty at the end of the day when I did absolutely nothing and get these rewards. I think I’ll just take one step at a time, for now. No major commitments, perhaps single out a few minor project(s) in a year to focus on. Period.

Okay I haven’t been speaking to k for quite some time now. well I know I refused to speak cos I was being stupidly headstrong. I don’t even know what went into me when I decided to speak to him in such a manner. :/

Several things I need to get done in no specific timeline:
-fucking decide whether you’re going to sign on or not, so people can stop bugging you with the name ‘roygular’
-make up your mind what you wanna study
-perhaps go apply for those uk colleges and scholarships
-thirty’s initiation
-decide whether you’re going to buy a camera/find out whether you can use a camera in camp
-perhaps write some stuff, you haven’t been writing

roy

Labels: entry, photos